24 June 2015


All newspaper polls are based on (at least with the "valid" ones) 1000 people. This is not something I made up. This is a fact. Question any media outlet about their poll. Chance are they only did 100 and extrapolated. The "good" ones did a thousand.

Polls that you read everyday are totally irrelevant, are intentionally slanted toward a preconceived position, and are — well — bullshit.

There's no control as to who is asked to participate. 

Ask 1000 whites, 1000 blacks, 1000 Croatians, 1000 Zimbabweans. Ask any-fucking-body you want as long as you get the answer you already know you'll get..  

This is why — generally speaking — polls are the biggest bunch of BS perpetrated on the American public. (The stupidity of the American public that actually believe in polls is another matter).

Now ... if you wanted to do a real poll, based on .00003 of the population, at least take a phone book (WTF is that?) from every state and pick 20 people at random. 

There are random generators on the Internet ...all you have to do is insert a number for each person in each phone book (right. We're losing the I-don't-have-a-phone-people. Fuck them, they're gonna die when the shit hits the fan anyway) and call the 20 numbers first generated. 

Then — maybe — you get an actual consensus and a semi-at-best valid poll. 

But God forbid we try that. 

Polls are complete utter bullshit fostered on the people again and again under the guise of "well, we polled the American people." 


And if you buy into ANY poll produced by the media, you're a fool. 

16 June 2015


It fairly obvious why Hillary goobers/libtards will deny Benghazi ever happened and vote for her.

They (libtards, goobers and Clintons) have no concept of personal loyalty, and certainly have nary an inkling of what the words "we don't leave anyone behind" mean to those of us who have fought (and died) to make sure we didn't.

To them, those words — so important to us — signify another in a long line of racist semantics they use to continue to suck money out of taxpayers to keep their all important brain-dead, non-tax-paying voting base dependent on them. And keep them sucking off the country teat.

Vote for Clinton, because, when you do, you prove the obvious: you're as corrupt as she is.

All — and I mean all — in which you Clinton supporters believe, is financed by people who don't believe in a single thing you espouse.

And you're too stupid to notice.

Ah, well. You'll find out ....too late.

14 June 2015


Hillary Clinton will bury this country.

Her husband was — at best — a decent president (not speaking morally. He was an alley cat as a man, but then what else is to be expected from Democrats elected to the office. Go the fuck ahead ..name a Republican prez who was a leg-humping hounddog).

Hillary Clinton is a mysoginist (look it up ladies). She's a liar and is directly responsible for the rape and torture of an American ambassador, as well as the death of people SHE appointed as bodyguards. A fucking piece of shit if ever there was one.

What difference does it make (as she said).

Look who's supporting her. 

Every race monger in the country ... every muslim dirtbag (Islam: a political movement making believe it's a religion) around, because they (like every foreign gov that donated $$ to her and her husband) are the REAL enemies. 

But go ahead and elect a "woman" prez. 

What a fucking joke. 

If any of the women voters who think she's viable would explain away why their husbands fucked everything in a skirt, then ...

You deserve what you voted for.

12 June 2015


My wife likes watching OITNB on the iPad ... since the new season just started, she sat down to watch, and — lo and behold — no sound from the iPad. And the earphone jack — a 3.5mm — wouldn't lock in.

Then it dawned on me. A while back, my grandson told me his Skull (or whatever) earphones had broken the jack. I'd promised to solder on a new jack and promptly forgot about it, because he uses my old SONY headset and seems more than happy with that ... and he wasn't up my ass about fixing the cooler model.

Long story, short. The jack of his earphones had broken off its tip (the last segment of the jack) in the jack slot on the iPad. What to do?

I have a bunch of computer screwdrivers and whatnot, and a bunch of dental tools. This either makes me a electrician or a psycho torturer ... I'm neither. Regardless.

I messed around a bit, could get the jack end (that was in the iPad) to move, but couldn't get it out. Fortunately we hadn't tossed the Skull headset. I took the jack (which I hadn't replaced, again, thankfully), and kinda wiggled it down and screwed it in a bit forcefully.

The tip connected with the jack and out it came.

Of course, now I really have to re-solder a tip on the Skull headset, but ...I didn't screw the pooch on the iPad and I didn't have to pay to have the thing extracted.

Try it ... it worked.

08 April 2015


It's that time of year to start getting your boat ready for the season. If you haven't replaced your water pump in three years, now's the time to do it. I wrote this for my Ask Capt. Gary column in Long Island Boating World last year. 

I decided it was time to replace the water pump in my 2003 Yamaha 150 this season. No problems with water flow or overheating, but it seemed like a good idea. For those of you with other brands of engines, the mechanics of this are similar, if not the same, in most cases. Essentially, you remove the lower unit — the part that has the gear casing/prop — and the water pump is right there, sitting at the base of the shaft that transmits power from your engine.

If you’re new to this but good with tools, you shouldn’t have a problem. If you’re not confident of your skills, let someone else do it.

Here goes.

Parts, Tools and Stuff
A water pump rebuild kit designed for your make and model engine. You can buy just the impeller, but as long as you’ve got the lower end off, you may as well replace the entire unit. The kit should have a new housing, inner housing, impeller, bolts, gaskets, set pins, and probably more.

Box and ratchet wrenches/sockets. My Yamaha needed a long 1/2-inch socket to access the bolt that holds the small stabilizing fin (just above the prop; right). It has to be removed to access a hidden lower end bolt. Once the fin is removed, there’s the “final bolt” holding the lower end to the motor, under where the fin was.
The six bolts holding the lower end (below) used a 5/8-inch socket and a 5/8-inch box wrench (there are space issues that make using both — or just the box wrench — necessary). They should come out easily.
The bolts holding the water pump housing to the lower unit, require a 12mm (a wee bit smaller than a 1/2 inch) for a strip-proof removal. Your kit should have new bolts with it, so you just don’t want to strip them coming out; they’ll probably be a tad tight with corrosion, etc.

Other stuff. Adjustable pipe pliers; Vise Grips (you may or may not need these. If you use them, do so judiciously); Loctite (always good on screws that need to stay tight); some high-quality (or manufacturer-specific) lube grease meant for marine applications (I’m real fond of Mil-Comm products); a small, thin-but-wide pry bar (flathead screwdrivers will work, but I wanted something with a little more width. A finishing prybar did the trick). A rubber mallet to unseat the lower end from the engine and, if there are washers holding the impeller on, you’ll need a pipe that is just a hair bigger than the shaft. You’ll slide this over the shaft to seat the washers with a few mallet taps. I also use the usual amount of rags and wipes and a couple-or-three cotton ear swabs. Oh. And a digital camera, so you can take pics along the way in case you need to refer back to the original configuration.

Lastly: I have an old — as in circa-1979 — Craftsman clamping work table. They make a vise table somewhat similar today. My puppy has done more for me than half the tools I own … and I own a lot of tools. It’s beat to death, looks like hell, wobbles and shakes, and I keep jury-rigging it to keep it alive, but it keeps doing what it was meant to do. I can’t vouch for today’s models, but …
The motor’s lower end, when my vise table is opened almost full wide, allows the prop/gear case to slip through and the flanges of the rest of the lower end to sit perfectly on the split table.
Regardless you’ll need “something” stable to hold the lower end in order to work on the water pump. If you don’t have a table like this, you may want to put some forethought or construction ingenuity into making one before removing the lower end. It’ll make doing the pump every third year or so, a hell of lot easier!

 Doing It
The lower end isn’t as heavy as an outdrive, but it’s not light, either. Plus the drive shaft is close to three-foot long and this has to all be slid carefully out of the motor. Tilt your engine up, before unloosening the bolts. This will make removing the lower end easier and safer.

If your motor has a bolt concealed by the stabilizer fin, remove the fin first, and then crack the bolt that you’ll find. I loosened everything before completely removing them. My lower unit stayed attached after the bolts were removed but a few raps with the (rubber!) mallet loosened the seal easily. It slides out of the motor easily, as well.
The plastic piece with four bolts is the cover to the impeller. Unbolt them and remove. The piece should slide up the shaft and off. There is a separate metal cover that may — or may not come off with the plastic cover (right. Mine had sand on it and between it and the plastic housing, a sure sign it was time for an impeller change. There’s a gasket around the plastic housing and a round one in a slot that the metal cover goes into.

You’ll also notice a sort of flattened section on metal cover. Not the way it goes into the housing (there should be square locating pieces in the top of the metal housing that will set the metal housing correctly into the plastic one. Note the position anyway).
The impeller is the black rubber thingee that looks like a ’roided starfish. Grab the shaft, and rotate it slightly. It should turn clockwise, but note the angle of rotation (look at the upper left of the pic to the left; you’ll see an arrow Magic Markered on the table under the ViseGrip… I did that to remember the rotation direction).
On my motor there was a metal cap, over a split plastic cap, over three thin washers holding the impeller to the shaft. Your motor may or may not have something like this or similar. They have to be removed up the shaft.
Next was the impeller itself (below). Removing it may require a little jimmying. I used the finishing prybar rather than screwdrivers. Once you get it moving it should be able to slide up by hand power without too much effort.

Note the bend in the arms of the impeller. My impeller can only go on one way due to a slot on the base of the shaft that fits into the impeller. Note how your impeller is mounted and make sure you mount the new one the proper way (the impeller arms won’t have the curve in them at this point. Here’s what you’ve taken out to start the rebuild (below).

My rebuild kit came with a fiber gasket and a metal one, so I removed both old ones (below right). There are two locating studs on either side of the shaft that mark where the both gaskets go. They can only be mounted one way if all the screw holes, etc., are to match up. My kit came with replacement studs. The studs are about a half-inch long, and mine were corroded in place. I put a few dabs of oil on them and let it sit for a bit. The, using the Vise Grips, gently wiggled the piece and they came out pretty easily. I cleaned the holes with the ear swabs and replaced the locator pins with the new ones, then mounted the gasket and plate.
Put a light coat of grease on the bottom of the impeller (and I mean light. Just get it shiny. No great gobs of stuff!). If the impeller is held on by collars, slide them back into position as well.

Take the o-ring gasket, put a little dab of grease on it to hold it in place, and place it inside the plastic housing. Then insert the metal cover into the plastic cover. Little bit of grease, insert the larger o-ring into the weird shape of the plastic housing. Make sure everything stays together (that inner o-ring may want to come out and that would be bad!), and slide it down the shaft.
When you arrive at the impeller, start turning the shaft in the proper direction while pushing the housing gently-but-firmly over the impeller. As you turn the shaft, the impeller will conform to the housing (and thus the curve to the original impeller arms).

Once you have it firmly seated, insert the bolts in the four corners and tighten them down (these aren’t lug nuts. Tighten them firmly, but not like they’re holding a Goodyear to a stock car at Daytona). I use an x pattern when tightening.
There was a black thingee in the original pump (look at the pic fourth up from here. It's the black thing on the light colored housing), and my kit didn’t come with it, so I removed it from the old housing checked it for wear, cleaned it and reinserted it into the new housing. I put a light coat — practically a film — of grease over the derive shaft and spindles and … done.

There was one little surprise left. When I took the housing back to the motor, I noticed there was a rubber tube (below, right ... the little curvy thing just visible) that fit to a nipple on the front, and a male gear stem that slid into a female receptor in the motor. These don’t want to automatically mate. Another set of hands comes in handy here to guide things back together. Or you can curse a lot, as I did, and do it yourself, while holding the lower end with your knee and one arm. Opt for the extra set of hands if possible.

As always, consult your individual manufacturer’s manual for any quirks or differences with your motor. 

On the LIBW DIY 1 to 5 Scale — premiering here for the first time — I give this a 2.5 in difficulty.

See ya on the water.

10 February 2015


It's 1996 and I'm working the phones like my life depends on it to get a chance at being a "real" war correspondent. The only thing going on at the time is the Bosnian/Serbian war, so that'll have to do.

I get Soldier of Fortune Magazine to give me an assignment, work through multiple layers of US Army PIO, and it's getting close to the day I'm supposed to go over. 

I get a call. 

Apparently, accredited journalists have to take a three-day mine/booby trap-recognition course before going into IFOR (Implementation Force) territory. What the fuck?

Back on the phones. I get to command level in Germany, and tell them my background. Finally get a three-star (who I assume was Ranger qualified and knew what a LRRP was) to sign off on me coming over, sans the class. Thank you whomever you were (if I could find my notes, which are in my attic, I could tell you). 

Lot's of really cool shit involved from that point, but I'm outside the wire at Tusla and I catch a cab to Lodgement Area Demi. "Lodgement Area?" Really?

Oh. I forgot... Hillary. 

So before I catch the cab, I'm at Ramstein where — ostensibly — Mrs. Clinton mis-remembers getting sniped at in Tusla.

I talk to a bunch of grunts at the NCO club. (Being an ex-E-5, I talked my way in) 

Let me tell you something. If you want military people to open up to you as a journalist with no holding back, prove you've an assignment from Soldier of Fortune Magazine. You're gold from there on.

"Shit, we were all confined to barracks when she came," said one guy. "There wasn't nothing but old lifers and O4s-and-above out at the plane," said another. "Snipers, shit. If they'd have let us out there, maybe there would have been snipers, but..." etc., etc., ad nauseam.

And that's the REAL story about Hillary getting sniped at. Not at Tusla (it never happened there either), nor at Ramstein (where it could have happened if they hadn't locked the base down).

What I do remember about Tusla was seeing one of those huge Russian transports disgorging an incredible amount of shit, and the surprisingly helpful guys in PIO (who probably got in the shit when I disappeared for 10 days. "Where the fuck have you been for two weeks? You were supposed to have an escort," said a captain when I was trying to get back out. Well, I was kinda escorted by an Armored Cav unit most of the time. When I wasn't in the taxi, anyway.)

And then there was that fucking taxi ride. And the Burger King. And the Domino's. And the beer. And the amazing fact that I couldn't speak Yugo, but never had any trouble communicating. Except with that one warlord who — I'll bet — is STILL wanted for atrocities, and who we almost re-started the war with ... but those are stories for another time.

Oh. And there was no war (I went to cover their election, figuring somebody would kill somebody. They'd been doing it for long enough, God knows), so there was no story. 

Unlike the mass media, Soldier of Fortune doesn't make shit up.

08 February 2015


For those of you who are unaware ...the story thus far ...Well here's the video if you don't want to read ...

Capt. Ed and I have been scalloping — along with a few of our buds popping in off and on — for 14 years. The last half dozen years-or-so we actually got it figured out and started making money — more or less — off scalloping.

The season in New York is the first Monday of November to March 31. We're out whenever we can get our boat out; i.e., ice-up thick enough for us not to break keeps us in port.

Anyway ... during one of our down days, Capt. Ed. brought up something we'd played with ruminated on while we were building Old School and re-decking Outlaw, our scallop/clam/party/work boats.

"We should build a sail scalloper like the old timers."

Never were 10 words uttered so off hand that would have such major repercussions.

So: the object is to build a fully-found, non-power-aboard, sail scalloper and dredge scallops the way they did before the invention of the outboard.

Journey forward to 2014, and Ed gets us a 27-foot sailboat. It was an American 27, circa late 60s early 70s. The hull was gorgeous for our intended purpose, it had a shallow draft keel — perfect for Peconic Bay — and ...

So, we gutted her to the hull and moved her to Capt. Ed's parents place, where the long-suffering Mr. and Mrs. D. have allowed us to use their garage/workshop to do both Old School and Outlaw, and started working on she-of-no-name yet.

HERE'S a video of where we are to date (February 7, 2015).

For those of you interested in the finer points of what we've done and what has worked (and what hasn't), you'll have to wait as we figure it out and I write it here or in my "Ask Capt. Gary" column in Long Island Boating World.